Trends in Sexual Expression, Fifty Shades of Grey, and BDSM in general

Kink has become a large part of society in media of all forms.  From the mommy porn of Fifty Shades of Grey, the proliferation of BDSM-centric erotica, to the art films featuring explicit acts of sex(including penetration).  The wider proliferation of online pornography, and the catering to more varied tastes.  The normally niche pornography which has become more readily visible, to the proliferation of sex acts that were once thought of as aberrant(anal sex, group sex, etc). 

Sex has always existed in all mediums in some form or another, but the willingness to read about it, and the willingness to admit that one is reading it to others, has opened up new venues of expression for artists, and also through individual sexual expressions in private.  I believe that this proliferation is leading to more acceptance of alternate lifestyles, including that of the GLBT community, though there will always be individuals and groups that will fight anything that does not fit into their own definition of "normal", those numbers are slowly shrinking. 

One of the series of stories(I hesitate to call them books despite their length) is the Fifty Shades series by E.L. James.  I don't agree with a lot of what is written in it, and especially in some of the practices that are used.  Many of the ideas in the book are dangerous and go against the grain when considering true BDSM relationships.  There is a certain amount of expectation in a BDSM relationship, and one of those is respect for the sanctity of the safeword.  A safeword is an agreement, a contract, that fits into a social/sexual agreement.  It is inviolable, and should be treated as law.  If it is uttered, activity should stop, no ifs ands or buts.  To continue on is rape.  Not tantamount to rape, but IS rape.  Those that are reading such novels need to realize this before engaging in any kind of activity that even remotely resembles those within that particular series.

But I do have to give the series the props that it somewhat deserves.  It has opened up new realms for couples whose sex lives have thus far been vanilla.  It has opened up realms of exploration that have heretofore been considered wrong and deviant.  It has been opened up realms of freedom that in America have been unknown.  It has prompted those that had a curiosity about alternate lifestyles to pick it up, and has been their introduction(though a somewhat flawed one).  It shows that there was much more curiosity and interest than was previous thought, just through the massive amount of sales it has had, and the fact that it has been part of several book clubs nationwide. 

The shame that has been a part of the kink lifestyle for so long is beginning to recede.  Not by a huge margin at this point, but it is receding nonetheless.  This can only be seen as good thing in my eyes, as my own lifestyle becomes less "shameful" and more "acceptable".  From a psychological standpoint, this creates a more healthy environment where feelings, thoughts, and wishes can be shared between partners without fear of recrimination and kink-shaming.  It also lessens the shame that could possibly be cast upon individuals publicly, also.

Overall, this is a good thing.  It is good that more people are having sex in ways other than our society has dictated for so long.  It is good that they are doing so while coming out of the shadows to push societal boundaries back and allow for more freedom of expression during these acts.  It will most likely take quite a bit more time before these acts become more widely accepted, but at least now there is an opening, whereas before there was not.  But my word of caution is to not take everything you read at face value and then attempt it yourself, but to actually do the research.  Read things posted by those who have been in the kink community for a long time.  Talk to people, and become informed.  Most of all: Be Safe.

Status, depression, and the road to recovery

Writing can be hard work.  Even harder when deal with depression of any kind.

This is an apology to those who read my work.  I'm sorry if I haven't been producing like I should.  I suffer from seasonal depression, and this year it has struck me particularly hard.  Writing can be difficult at the best of times, but when depression hits and you have trouble just doing the daily maintenance activities, writing becomes something easily avoided.

As of right now, I've started producing again, though not nearly as fast as I normally do.  I'm working through it, so hopefully I will be able to push through this soon and began popping out stories for your enjoyment within the next couple of weeks.  I already have a good start on the sequel to Emailed Confessions, called Workplace Confessions.  Also, I have drafted out a rough outline to the sequel of Seducing Henry which will be tentatively called Dominating Henry.

Thank you for your support.